iPod touch: Apple Promises to punch you once, square in the bean bag every 3 months if you buy it

Sigh.

Once again I find myself forced to want to kill Apple (The entity personified, not the staff). The January Software Update, AKA App Pack was bad enough. I could not buy that and simply do without a couple of features. I did want those features (Not the apps, didn't give two shits about them), but I could live without them.

Now Apple is going to charge me for the right to shop in the OS X Mobile AppStore? Now that's just out of line. But you know what? Fine. I'll pay the taxes. Mainly because ads which get in the way of syncing my iPod piss me off, partly because Apple's never going to listen to my money not flowing because other people's is and partly because I want those fucking 3rd party apps.

Games like Touch Fighter and Super Monkey Ball. Instant messaging. I did buy the iPod touch with the awareness that Apple were intending to sell 3rd party apps for it. It was part of my vision for my future use of it: a digital entertainment hand-held computer.

But I've come to some decisions:

1) I will not buy another iPod touch. My next iPod will be the 3G iPhone as soon as it's at the price point of the current 8GB model - and it better have more Flash than that or else I'll just keep waiting.

2) Apple is dreaming if they think I'm trusting them enough to spend the money for a MacBook Air now. The Eee will be able to function as an ultraportable so my Mac will be the considerably cheaper MacBook. I'll only pay extra for a better optical drive (A Combo drive in 2008 Apple? What the fuck are you on?) and the remote (WHY are those not free any more?).

Apple's gone to quite some effort to piss me off. I like the company generally, but not enough to put up with this rubbish.

Still not enough to turn me off their superior products.

Jens "Buy ASUS hardware, support Linux over Windows, give Apple money (But not too much)" with a J signing off.

Eeet'll have to wait

Unfortunately, the way my pay has worked out (And because I hate filling out forms so I still haven't reeived my £50 tax rebate), the Eee is going to have to wait until next month. Think Good Friday sort of time.

In the meantime, I've ordered Medal of Honor Heroes 2 on Wii and F1 06 on PSP. Regular readers will know I think Heroes 2 is all the way awesome and most of you will have worked out that I love Formula 1.

Originally, I was going to play F1 06 on my brother's PSP. Under that arrangement, the only motivation to get the PSP version rather than the PS2 version was simple: we do not currently have a single PS2 operational in the house. Even though there's one 2 feet away from me right now.

It has no power cable. Seriously, we have no idea where it went.

Anyway, the plan now is to buy myself a white PSP Slim and Lite. Partially as something to play with until I get the Eee, partially because there's some PSP stuff I want to get into. Certain games and features, you know.

It's hardly going to be a major PMP for me though, my iPod touch does an awesome job of that as it stands.

I also just bought Sugar Tunes Numa Numa, a version of Numa Numa by Balan. And it's awesome. So awesome.

Oh by the way, remember my intention to exploit the US's shitty economy when I got there this year? My main purchase is probably going to be a MacBook Air. The way I'm expecting things to go down, I'll still have at least $190 left over for other stuff. Probably more once I ramp up the amount of overtime I do because I'm no longer at school full time or at all (Afetr the exams basically).

I think I can push it up to $1000 of spare cash.

One thing I'm excited to do on the America trip is put full coverage of it up here. I aim to video and photograph what we get up to, sharing those pics and videos with people here and at This is Interesting as well as recording a video diary for you on the Eee.

I'm going to try and find soemthing to test the whole using the Eee to do a multimedia report on something remote from my desk between getting it and heading Stateside. I think it'll be good at it.

Yes, I know I'll need a USB HDD. I'll get one.

Anywho, I think that's enough for now.

If anyone's still reading this, please leave more comments...I'm getting awfully lonely on here.

Jens Out

Only the inevitable

The trend in computing recently spells the end for the humble desktop, the old king of the personal computing world. Usually running Windows, it is a familiar sight.

But users increasingly need more customisation, better asset management and are more and more taking their computer on the road. In the coming years, OS X/Darwin and Linux are going to lead notebook and handheld computers on a charge into dominance at the expense of Windows and its natural habitat, the desktop.

These are the beginnings of a sea change for computers, and the poster children are two radically different solutions to the same problem.

Apple answered changing user needs in the portability market with MacBook Air, the device which aims to be to the notebook what the iMac was to the desktop a decade ago.

Asus answered cries for more portability and customisation with the Linux-focused Eee PC. They further addressed the need for the cost of computing to plummet and the difficulty of it to decrease rapidly.

Apple and Asus are just two companies who are seeing a new way forward.

In the year 2015, the desktop will be relegated to the realms of the pros and a role as a base. In the home, users will freely roam around the house wielding notebooks tailor made to their needs, running Wi-Fi at speeds unthinkable at present to connect to internet up to 30 times as fast as it is now.

On the road, uses will take their computers with them and connect to fifth generation mobile networks, true mobile broadband, at speeds up to half of that available over fixed lines, blitzing current-spec third and conceptual fourth generation networks by an order of magnitude.

When a computer is unnecessary, phones like Apple's iPhone Air or any one of the millions of phones running Google's dominant Android will connect to those same networks and provide users with speedy, intuitive access to communication and information.

Social networks like MySpace and Facebook will have given way to more tailored content sharing communities, linking users with content and its creators based on interest.

Microsoft, its monopolies long forgotten as the once dominant computer company sells its operating system and becomes a solutions and consultancy firm.

The buyer? A bit player looking for the fast track to marketshare in the OS space.

They're still working the dead weight out of Windows 9.

These have been visions of the future,
With Jensonb

Eeek

Well, what a difference a day makes. It turns out I'm not going to need to buy a PS3, my dad's getting us one. Which saves me basically £300 hard cash. Some of you might expect me to go back to buying the Xbox, but I decided not to.

Instead, I decided to get a hold of a computer. The geek in me was getting antsy. Of course you've guessed, the computer I'm getting is the Asus Eee PC. I'm getting the white one with 4GB of Flash and a webcam. It probably has a specific name, but I can't really be bothered to find out what it is.

Does this mean I'm not getting the Air? Not necessarily. What it does mean is whether I get the Air or a different Mac, I will still have a nice, light notebook for writing in bed and so on.

In other news, I got some really great news today, between moving operations from Petrograd (Peterborough), the heartland of English mediocrity to somewhere in Scotland, which by the way kicks ass, we're taking a slight detour for 2 or 3 weeks.

To the Everglades.

Yeah, Florida. It's awesome. I've been waiting to go to America for years. Finally I'm going to get to go to Disney World, see the awesome American food and purchase consumer goods at rock bottom prices (AKA exploiting the USA's shitty economy).

We intend to rent a villa over there and take in all the stuff we want at a leisurely pace. As a geek, I'll be taking at least one computer and my camera(s) and updating the blog on what we're up to as we go. As a part of that, I expect I'll be taking a fat USB HDD and several big SD cards.

Then we'll return, not to a house but to a boat. My dad really wants a boat. We were going to get a smaller boat and a camper van, then decided that was stupid and merged the two into a bigger boat.

Then we'll redo the house we buy to have it just the way we want it.

Well that's the future for me.

Live free or Die Hard,
Jens

There's Something in the Air: A Tale of Two Apples

It was the best of times it was the worst of times.

January 15th. The Moscone Centre in San Francisco. Steve Jobs delivers the MacWorld keynote address 200 days after iPhone went on sale.

And commits one of the most horrendously offensive two-fingered salutes to early adopters in history. Second only to the infamous iPhone price cut. But this act was not against iPhone users.

No, it was against uses of iPhone's little brother. iPod Touch. Apple unveiled OS X Mobile 1.1.3, announcing it as a free upgrade for iPhone users. For them it adds Web Clips, customisable home screens, Lyrics and more. For iPod Touch it adds these things as well as Notes, Weather, Stocks, Mail and Maps. Apps included on iPhone, but dropped for iPod Touch.

What's the problem? They want existing users to pay $20 or £12.99 for the privilege. New buyers get the new software free.

That's not cool Apple. Not fucking cool. I'd just about let you away with charging for the apps, but charging for the 1.1.3? That's low. Very fucking low.

Don't expect a penny out of me for it.

And at that same conference, Steve Jobs look the wraps off the (Unfortunately named) MacBook Air.

Despite it's craptastic name, MacBook Air is quite simply amazing. It's thin and light. It has a MultiTouch trackpad. It looks gorgeous.

It's a little pricey. It must be said. But it's awesome. More details are here, but don't think the MacBook Ar excuses the iPod Touch 1.1.3 bullshit Apple. It doesn't.

I'll get a MacBook Air, and I'm sure I'll love it. I will not pay money for an update to add features others get free because they waited and which should have been there from day one.

It was a shit announcement, it was a great announcement.

It was Apple before releasing a product, it was Apple after releasing a product.

It was consumer electronics Apple, it was Apple Computer Inc.

Jens Out

"Something in the air. A storm is coming."

Apple has unveiled their traditional Keynote tagline, along the lines of "The Beat goes on" or "The first thirty years were just the beginning". This time, "There's something in the air". I can only assume they're not referring to Apple's sky-high sales and share price (Those those will, no doubt, get a mention), but what do they refer to then?

It's a matter of some debate. Join me for a second look at what may be just around the corner at Apple.

So, there's something in the air. You know, words like those foretold the splitting of Ten and Rose...Anyway, Doctor Who geekdom aside, what - if anything - is Apple getting at?

A surprisingly popular theory is a featherweight slim Apple notebook with no wires - with induction charging dock even. Hmm, would the dock have to plug in though? Wouldn't that be plug-less guys? Not wireless?

Well anyway, it's a nice idea. I would suggest that induction charging is possible as a magnetically attached pad of some sort. MagSafe 2 basically...Hey! I called that! If that's on the MacBook they unveil, I called it. I claim full credit as the one who broke that.

That said, ditching USB for Wireless USB? Not cool. What about all those iPods? It's nonsense to be honest. Ditching the power plug in favour of MagSafe 2 may be cool, but USB and FireWire ports are kind of needed. Apple could hide them on the back behind a cover if it really wanted clean lines though.

The only problem I have with any of this, is the name. People keep calling it MacBook Air.Aside from the obvious complaint that one could levy at that (That it lacks Apple's trademark subtlety to use the suffix as the basis for a tagline), it's also a really awful name. I can't stress enough how utterly and completely shitty it is.

I mean, it's just terrible. What could possess Apple, who brought us the names iPod, Mac, AirPort, iMac, iBook, MacBook and Mighty Mouse (Yes, I do like that name. Call me crazy, but associations with ridiculous cartoons are cool) to call something "MacBook Air".

Come on guys. It's gotta be MacBook Nano. If Apple release a slim notebook called MacBook Air, I swear I will bang my head against the wall.

Awful, awful, name.

As for the more traditional MacBook Nano rumour, I've come across what is either a very unlikely leaked image or an extremely good fake.


If that is what Apple unveil on Tuesday, I will punch the air. I'll even let them away with the MacBook Air naming sin if it looks like that - making the excuse that it made me punch the air (See, there was a reason I used that turn of phrase).

I will pay up to and including £900 for that. Even £1000 if it's features are cool enough. Considering my current plans call for a £699 notebook at a discount of 10%, you can see I really like that design.

But the "something in the air" tagline hasn't just opened speculation on the new MacBook. Some people have offered other more literal interpretations, most of which seem more likely.

For example, there are suggestions that since Apple uses Airport to refer to Wi-Fi devices, Air in Apple-speak might be translated to as radio communication and/or specifically Wi-Fi.

That doesn't tell us what it has to do with Wi-Fi, but it's a start. Some suggest the likely (Wireless synchronisation of data like music ala AppleTV), others the huge and improbable (Apple are co-financing Google's 700MHz spectrum bid or are set to help roll out WiMAX coverage ahead of a WiMAX iPhone).

Nice ideas...Another slightly more worrying idea is that Apple is going to spend half the keynote talking about .Mac - life "up on the cloud", floating in the air. Microsoft Corporate Vision Babble 2006 Consumer Electronics Edition.

Please...Just, no. Make it free if you want Apple, but don't treat net services like some kind of unholy god only you understand - the way Microsoft does basically (Except, in their case, they don't understand them at all).

It's also possible that it refers to all those movies that are going to be sold/rented from iTunes flying through the air to AppleTV.

Or, it could just be a really cool tagline.

Ever think about that?

Remember the trouble attaching meaning to "The beat goes on" got us into?

Yeurch.

Here's another idea out of left field. Many Apple fans are also Nintendo fans and vice versa (Especially since Nintendo graduated from The iPod School of design with DS Lite). This idea is a modification of the pre-existing iPod House/Mario Factory theories.

Nintendo will make games for iPod with Video, OS X For iPod and OS X Mobile (Incidentally, that middle one is what I will from this point forward refer to the Split Pane iPod Classic/Nano 3 OS as), and possibly Mac and AppleTV.

In exchange, Apple will ship a piece of software for Nintendo's Wii via the WiiWare (Wii Software in Europe) system. This will be FrontRow 2. Possibly branded as iTunes or AppleTWii or something cute like that.

I'll call it AppleTV for Wii here.

AppleTV for Wii will mirror AppleTV in features. However, instead of downloading your content, it will rely solely on streaming. So all the content on your Mac or PC can be watched, listened to our whatevered on your TV via Wii.

This is a big win for Apple as well as The Big N. Nintendo gets to monetise Mario and co on Apple's various platforms and, in exchange, gets software which essentially leapfrogs its Wii ahead of Microsoft's Xbox 360 and Sony's PS3 as a media entertainment hub. Which sucks for Microsoft and Sony since that's really their main defense against Nintendo's unstoppable onslaught with Wii.

Apple, meanwhile, gets to sell a slightly cut down version of Apple TV to less HD-oriented customers without having to build any hardware. All they do is charge a one-off software fee, say, 1200 Wii Points (If they even decide to charge) and the iTunes/AppleTV ecosystem becomes backwards compatible with non-HD TVs and draws in new customers to iTunes from those who have Wiis and want to watch movies on their TVs.

In fact, I think Apple should do that anyway. It's such an obvious idea. AppleTV adds a hard drive and support for the HD movies I expect Apple to put on iTunes, whilst AppleTV for Wii provides a cheaper way into the system (And something of a backdoor for Apple to get customers in, ala Sony and the Blu-Ray toting PS3).

Jens Out

Macworld 2008 Steve Jobs Keynote Predictions

On January 15th, Steve Jobs will be delivering the Macworld San Francisco keynote address. Last year, this address was used to unveil iPhone and to finish off the unleashing of Apple TV. Previously it has been used to announce iMac Core and MacBook Pro.

This year, I expect a return to Mac. Specifically, I expect Steve to make 2 major hardware announcements, 1 hardware replacement and at least one major software update. Further, I imagine there will be some less important accessories announced or upgraded.

Firstly, I expect Steve to reveal an ultra-thin notebook with a 13.3" screen using Solid State rive (SSD) technology in 32GB and 64GB versions. Expect Steve to show us how amazingly fast it boots. "I just press the power button and boom, it loads up. Press the power button again, it turns off. Press it again, boom. Back on. Isn't this incredible?". Possibly aluminum, colors unclear. Possibly iPod Nano colours, possibly iPod Classic colours.

And the other vital details:

MacBook Nano. Available that day or soon after. Expensive as hell. Cool as ice.

So next, Steve will want to eliminate the Mac Mini - needs to be the Mac Nano. So it'll probably borrow the MacBook Nano hardware and integrate it into a revised take on the Mac Mini form factor. Almost certainly thinner and using iPod design cues (Excluding chrome).

Mac Nano. Shipping February*. Same prices as Mac Mini for bumped RAM but reduced storage. Better than Mini at the very least.

Some accessory expectations: new Mighty Mouse to match latest Mac designs. Apple Cinema displays bumped to 1080p minimum with integrated iSights. And a curve ball purely off the top of my head...Updated Magsafe for all MacBook models, probably announced during the MacBook Nano bit.

Next, the Pros will get the new Intel processors and the Mac Pro will receive a facelift to bring it in line with the other Macs and a Blu-Ray drive.

And my last prediction, iTunes 8. Yes, I know I predicted it last time and was wrong. But come on, it has to come out now. It's overdue!

Well, to be totally accurate, I expect it will be called iTunes '08. But whatever. Movie rentals, movie store in international iTunes Stores (E.g., UK) and TV Store in more countries. OS X Mobile apps for sale (iPhone/iPod Touch SDK stuff) Integrates Front Row 2 across Mac and Windows. Available for download that day.

Anyway, there's a few things I expect to see at Macworld this year.

*Or that's what they'll say anyway